Author: Gail

Spiritual Medium, Wanderer Extraordinaire, Knowledge Seeker.
Family, Story Teller

4 am

Gail

I seen your two boys walking down the alley yesterday as I was shoveling snow. They walked with a older boy coming out of the second hand store wearing very large ski suits, two with a backpack, the other with a folding chair. The weather here in Canada can get bitter and of course they would need the suits to to keep warm and especially at night. You see the local youth shelter is all full up and the other one down the street does not have enough funds to house anyone at all much less feed these kids. I was to watch them as they walked the block and half from Value Village down the snow covered alley talking all the while amongst them. As they passed me the older boy remarked out there, “New clothes, new boots.”

They were walking toward the mall that seems to draw many people down my alley to do there shopping but today not for them. Finished up the shoveling to get my car out of the garage and drove to the library which is on the other side of the mall and who should I see sitting outside were the three boys. The two younger ones nervously standing there with no purpose and the other with a ipad in his lap and a cord hanging out of his backpack. You see the library has free wifi and where better to do what he was doing on the internet then there. I dropped the books off and got into my car and seen them start to leave and once again heard the older boy speak up, “I got money for your supper, c’mon let’s go.”

Dear Mother’s they look scared like they didn’t have a clue and all I kept thinking was what was it that made them be here in this space and time. Was it a fight for control of there manhood and pride of youth. The streets can be cruel and so harsh and I fear for them as you are probably doing right now. I woke up at 4 am with the thought again of them out there and with no clue as to what to do with the scene I was given before me. I had woke thinking about that folding chair the one boy had slung over his shoulder, an unusual item for the winter that just hit us. My theory is that he wouldn’t have to sleep on the ground.

As I sit here and write this I only hope for the best outcome for them, that this will be a small time that they are out there. This is not meant to be and I know as a mother I would be worrying  where my son was and if he was safe. If you asked me right now if they were okay in there world, I would say no. silverw

Creative, Family, Letter Writer, Universe

Set On Spin

Gail

I have noticed as of lately in my little part of this dreamers world that many and yes there have been many experiences that have popped up. Experiences in a way that I thought I had put away in the back of the linen closet and never to see the light of day. Yes I am waxing eloquent as is my want and just for today.

Let me enlighten you and make this story oh so much clearer for the reader, you.

I am in the drivers seat and wanting to park along side the curb but unable to do so as a truck is coming out the parking lot and has his nose out there and I look at the driver and he is gesticulating wildly at moi. You see I had the right of way but obviously not going at a faster rate of speed for this man. It was funny to watch as he mouthed naughty words my way. I on the other hand was pretty darn calm. Now before I would have been actively participating in this dance but not today, actually now it was going to be never, I felt. It was a choice and I felt no need to be out of control. It felt liberating on my end. In that same week I had comments thrown my way which normally would have crushed me but now I gave it no consideration. All this in one week. Whereas a few years back I would have dramatically phoned one of my best friends and cried on her shoulder but now handling it all on my own.

Today visiting someone whose opinion mattered to me slung a low handed remark about me. I gave it no matter. As I talked out loud to the universe saying that he lived in the past where it concerned me, where he didn’t really know me at all so why should it concern me at all. There was no basis to his thought pattern. It was like fluff you find on your sweater and blow out to the air. My growth is amazing to see and I wonder what will come next. What type of challenges that I will face that I stuck in the back of the closet as I have forgotten.

I also know that I am making room for better things to come and so I wait in anticipation like a little girl at Christmas time, excited for something but not knowing what, but knowing it will be indeed, brilliant!

Love

I Got To Be Me!

Gail

I had a nervous breakdown in February 6, 2006. This was my last day of work in a fast paced job as a bank teller. There were aspects of it that I loved but the hurry hurry got to me. Add to this my panic attacks and I was heading down the road to being a car wreck that we can’t help but look at. My relationship with my then husband also was stacked on that pile and this too was to change.

May I say that staying at home was like heaven as I stayed in my room, my safe place for long periods of time. Everything had come to a standstill, no talking to friends, no going out for fear of having a full out panic attack happen, no loud noises as that brought on anxiety and that meant no big crowds. The memory loss was part of the deal, something that I did not ask for and did not know about until my doctor and husband pointed it out. People would come up to me and I wouldn’t have a clue as to who they were like we were meeting for the first time. I know now that it would appear that I was being stand offish but that couldn’t be further from the truth. This still happens to me even now but I have my tactics to get by and usually call everyone my friend, dear or sweetie.

Back then in the early period of that time was a living hell. I knew that deep down there was more to me than the lamp that sat next to me on the night stand or the man that came home from work to my home and fought with me. My gift still was there inside of me and if anything that it came out more as I was paying attention. I was in the now state. I was starting to see things outside of me which disturbed and left me unsettled without any guidance from anyone. The typhoon that ripped apart the Philippines later in the year had come to me in a dream the week before it happened. I could see many people in the water and they were very frightened beyond belief with arms reaching out, screaming, yelling for help. I awoke from that nightmare and cried to my husband, “What am I to do with this? I have no idea what I am suppose to do with this.”  Newspapers had there headlines boldly written out about the devastation overseas and the one image I seen as I read the articles was the one that I had seen in my dream.

My life has changed exponentially as I have embraced my new life without the husband, now ex but have a new man in my life.  My gifts have been developed and finely tuned with guidance of teachers and the panic attacks might come around but I have that under control with meditation, eating and sleeping well. And the memory bank might let out something once in a while and I treasure it and I say, I know that! I was there. I remember!!” It’s pretty cool when that happens and I feel like part of the crowd instead of the one saying, “I don’t know, I don’t know what you’re talking about” and feeling left out. Or having a person I haven’t seen in a long while say loudly, “You remember, try!! You remember, you were there!” and clearly I don’t and I don’t try to pretend just to get by.  New life, new girl, new outlook and I love it all!

Medium, Psychic

Dialing In

Gail

I was thinking of good old dad this morning and the following is a must share. Growing up with my dad in the army where he was gone for long periods of time and rarely able to stay long with us gave me a sense of loneliness and insecurity. Doing his duty for his country took a huge toll on my family life and my mother was granted a divorce when I was five. He ended his tour of duty not to long after, moved a five hour drive and as the dollar was tight for mom I was not to see him as much as I could. This was to be until he passed away in 1986.

A few weeks ago I was hosting a medium/psychic party in my home where I booked 8 of my friends who had 20 minutes each with the readers. And because I was hosting this I was given a free reading from Melissa and Brenda. When it was time to see Brenda who did the mediumship she turned to me and said, “Your father is with you and wishes to say how very sorry he is.”  There were more affirmations that I would only know so I was a tad curious and let her go on without interrupting.

Now all the time I was growing up I never had any harsh thoughts against my father and so I was stymied at her statement but only until she added, “He is sorry for not being there for you.”  And then the dam broke and I was all tears. In all this it occurred to me how my life would have been so much better for his guidance, for him being a dad to me, to show me that he loved me. I felt so separated from him physically but so emotionally. That truly affected me growing up and my self confidence was something that I was always seeking. I had successfully pushed down those feelings and didn’t know they existed until that defining moment of my reading.

This is what they call a healing message which I have heard stories from my mentor’s and so happy to have been on the receiving end of one. And so it is with this story that I imparted to you all and the very reason why I want to develop my abilities to also give healing messages, to help heal people. Ego has no place in this world of light and love where it is all about the reader. This is all about what spirit gives to the person being read and so it is all about them. To be further from the hurt we carry, a burden on our backs if you will and to lighten the load or to conquer it and to move on and be at peacedad.

Crystal Clear, Intuition

Dreamer, you know you are a Dreamer!

Gail

I awoke this morning slowly remembering my crazy dream and laughing out loud of the images that were floating through my ride. Was I on a lawn mower, a small car? I do know that a lady was sliding into me with her big honking vehicle and I was pushing it away with my finger. I walk into a room that had many, many, many water taps and this is the part that I delighted in as water for me is the intuitiveness of me, of the insight, spiritual flowing. I was looking for my jacket as I was riding my lawn mower and found it under a pile of stuff, it was purple. Checking I found that it signifies this; Purple is indicative of devotion, healing abilities, loving, kindness, and compassion. It is also the color of royalty, high rank, justice, wealth and dignity.  

That certainly stood out! Oh yes, my dreams are in color and when they want to really grab my attention they come in black and white. And action packed and sometimes startling, vibrant and if I am lucky I usually have a visitor or two that have since passed with a message for there loved ones.

Back in the day before meditation my sleeps would be erratic and my body never got the rest it needed. Now with meditation in my life I come from that state creative and so ready to bring on the day as I do it usually in the morning. If I do happen to wake in the middle of the night, keep my eyes closed and stare at my eyelids I will be sleeping in no time and continue on with the dream state. I can usually pick up where I left off too. I had this happen to me when my father came and we did so many things. I suddenly awoke and looked at the clock. 1 am!! Slightly miffed laying there thinking that I was robbed of my visit and went back to sleep only to find my dad standing there waiting for me. That, my friends was pretty cool!!

water-tap

Family, Heaven

My Sister

Gail

May I say she was a slip of a child, well I will because she was. She was funny, she was everything to me, she was my confidente, the one person who I totally trusted with my little girl secrets, my fears. The family dynamics in my early life were not the Dick & Jane of long ago although I wonder what that would have been like. I lived in the country with my grandparents as my father was in the army and gone much of the time. My mother worked in the city and when dad came back home, they would meet up and then come pick me up. Those times were so precious as I was so excited to see them both. There were a few of us like this, my cousins and I who went to stay with other aunts and uncles when my grandmother passed away when I was three. Call me confused too because I thought she was my mom and my cousins my brother’s and sister’s. Funny!

Let’s get back to my cousin who I called a sister, Julia was her name and we were always together, thick and thin. Her mother Flora was to pass away in the middle 60’s leaving little Julia with no mother, no father but she had us, she had me. In all this my mother had divorced my father and remarried  and we lived that life I was yearning for, the stability everyone needs to grow emotionally. My stepfather and mother decided to take in Julia to come live with us forever and I was so freaken excited that I cajoled them into picking her up and soon. My auntie had her and they were in a far off town, trying to make money to feed her family so we would have to wait until they came back. My mother received a phone call one night. Julia had passed away. She had contracted pneumonia after spending some time out in the cold.

You know that feeling when someone so close leaves you, when they pass away. It tears a part of your heart out. You try to make deals with God to bring them back, crying all the while, so desperate. And so the years went on and the feeling was always there and I would think of her time to time. I still do. Time passes and the hurt diminishes and now I think of the fun stuff we use to do. She always has my heart…always.

gail444
Gail, Julia and Mary in the background.

I have always had many people who I met that had gifts that would pass on to me that they would see a little girl with me, with short hair and a cowlick, much like Julia, wearing a long dress much to big for her. My theory about the dress was the one she wore in when she was buried, that can only be. So many to tell me that she is always there. I have to think that this why I have childlike qualities and this is due to her. To add to this my father who passed in 1986 is seen with me wearing a army uniform and my grandmother Julia wearing a long dress and her scarf around her head as well. All three travelling with me and me without a clue until my early 30’s. Boggles the mind now, doesn’t it. Believe that Spirit is always with you, giving you signs and they all have there own, you just have to ask.

Musing Daily

Fly High Like a Eagle!

Gail

At the end of 2013 I booked a flight to Vancouver and secured a room not far from the downtown area and also made plans to stay with a friend on the island for a few days. All was set in my mind to do my soul journey, a trip that I could get on that airplane by myself without suffering a dreaded panic attack. I may have spoke of my anxiety in previous posts that I have dealt with since I was a child but it had gotten progressively worse in the tail end of my marriage. That marriage was at a dead stall and we both agreed on an amicable separation and then a divorce. It was then I also went through a life changing event after a trip to a physician and with his help was able to get my good health back and was now on track with my anxiety as well with eating right, sleeping well, exercising and meditating.

It was then after booking this flight my friend offered me a spot to attend an empowerment class, Sierra Bender, Goddess To The Core, a two day deal. I came out of there a brand new person with eyes wide open and ready to take on the world. Sierra Bender as her website states:  “The ‘SBM’ Method  works to break the cycle of stress and disempowerment by synthesizing the disciplines of modern medicine, science, indigenous wisdom, holistic health, exercise physiology, quantum physics, nutrition, yoga therapy and the psychologies of trauma, addiction and sexual abuse. The ‘SBM’ is a method of self-realization, self-empowerment and self love.” If this good lady ever comes to your hometown I totally recommend this 2 day course as it’s the best thing you could do for one’s self, a gift if you will. The Universe sent me this well timed gift perhaps?

January 2014 comes and I am counting down the day until I walk out my front door with my knapsack and my trusty camera and take the bus to the airport. My stomach has butterflies and I am truly excited to be doing this. I get on the airplane and relief washes over me as we fly straight up, the engines roaring and I realize I am crying, not out of fear but joy. True uplifting joy! No sign of panic set in at this moment. The days were a blur as I went driving all over this vibrant city, so huge and so many images to take of the old districts, buildings, the birds, the water. My last day I was walking in Canada Place when a man ran up to me and excitedly told me that there was a eagle perched on a pole way on the other side of the building. What followed was me taking about 300 images of this fine fellow sitting there, staring at times so intently at me. This was the icing on the top of the cake, for sure!eagle 2 (1 of 1)w

Crystal Clear, Intuition

I Am

Gail

I got it into my mind one day about two years ago to find a Spiritualist church and found one in my hometown on the other side of the city. Don’t know where that thought came into my mind but it did. I blame Spirit for that. It has been the best thing ever to happen to me. It’s as if I have walked into a new skin, a new way of thinking. The day I sat down to Sunday services and they started talking the talk about karma and everything that I had been reading up until then, well I was hooked. The fact that they had psychic development classes put the icing on the top. I now know that I needed to refine myself, my gift and focus instead of the scattered way of thinking. Before my mouth was always in gear, always telling everyone what I knew. Now after meditating each day or every other I have settled down and know that instead of talking I learn more by listening.

Another prompting was a private group on a site where I have now acquired more knowledge than all the books I have read could ever tell me. The ladies in this group answer questions, give advice and generally are there for anyone, to help honor our gifts. It is there where I will tell of my day to day experiences, to share the love of my intuition. I love it and give thanks to Spirit once again for pushing me in the right direction because again I was listening.

Lately I have been giving readings to my friends and I know from every fiber of my being it just the way it was meant to be, for me. It is as if the flow grows stronger and stronger and I see more and still I listen. Some days I may hear one word or perhaps a sentence come into me. Just out of the blue. I surely revel in the way Spirit works, a little at a time. And knowing there are signs when we pay attention. Feathers appear from no where or already there when I walk up to them. They are always black and white or just black or just white. From one of my readings from my friend who does mediumship readings, she tells me that this is my guide and that he is with me.feather (1 of 1)

So tonight I look forward to my class as one never knows what may happen. Always learning from myself and others in this space and come out of there so at peace and joy in my heart. I was asked by my other half a few months ago why I wanted to do this, all this and I answered succinctly, “Because I want to help, I want to help heal people.”

There you go, my purpose, my reason for being.

Musing Daily

Pass that ketchup please..

Gail

It’s early morning Sunday and on this day I am alone and looking for some hot breakfast and head out to this favorite spot that I dearly love. My comfort food is served to me in this cozy restaurant, a place where I know everyone’s name and they all know my other half’s name and mine. Where they know what I want for breakfast and sometimes even for dinner. The place is full and I don’t have to wait long in the line up. Casey say’s to me, “You all alone?” Yes, I state. But the tables are all full so in a sense I am not. She seats me at a two person booth but so close to other patrons. It’s a popular spot for sure.restaurant (1 of 1)

I over hear everyone’s conversation from sports to girls, the person’s day, all a huge gamut of swirling noise of a baby crying in the corner, TV blaring, cooks bellowing, “Order Up!” Waitresses doing there little dance as they sidestep each other in there area to fill up coffee cups and bring them to the tables, the girls clearing the tables and then bringing customers to them and the flow continues. This probably going on as I sit here and write this.

I read my paper, make a few notes, gaze at the television for inspiration, drink the rest of my coffee and head out into the cool morning air. I ask myself,”What should I do today?”

Musing Daily

Grippin’ The Wheel Like Grampa!

Gail

Steering Wheel We just got back from our brunch, the other half and I and on our way to the library to pick up something for the sitting around reading magazine afternoon portion of our idyllic day. It has been a unusually hard week for this lady as life lessons have been hitting my poor little brain. I have stood my ground however and with Creator by my side know that faithfully all will work out. But sometimes we need to just sit it out, to be left alone with no thoughts what so ever. And having the other half go through a similar circumstances and readily know what it is I rarely talk about we sat in silence until he started imitating a man gripping that steering wheel for all its worth like he was holding on to his lifeline. He was exaggerating the intensity of turning the mechanism and we both burst out laughing, so loudly.

Laughter helps at this time I got to tell you. Give it to me all day long. And add a side of peace and calm with it too, okay? Well my friends, it’s time I get back to National Geographic Traveler and lose myself into some exotic locale and dream of most happier times and know in my heart that there will be more because into each life a little rain must fall.