Guardian Angel, Home Sweet Home, Letters to Heaven, Loved Ones, Thankful

Missing You

Your names come out and I say I think of you when I hear this song.

Rob Schiffner, Greg”Granny” Gravelle, Alan Pappin, Christina Collins, Daddy, Joey Love, Norbert Mosa, Helene Lavigne, Murray M, Debbie Susan Badger, Edward Ginther, Gordon “Leroy” Lukenbill, Al C, Murray M, Dora S, Little Kitty, “Evel” Sally Dube, Terry Malec, Donald “Cap” Henderson, Doug Smawley, James “Bowie” Gibson, Colin M, Terry Barkhouse, Jimmy Glabais, Allen McDougall, Corby M, Rick Britton, Ron Stewart, Leona Stowell, David Boyko, Greg Rowland, Kevin McNeil, Doug Champagne, Jumar Corpuz, John Chitze, Al Ginther, Anthony “Tony” Saunders, Rick “Red” George, Wyatt “Jimmy” Herbert, Gary Belter, John “Tramp” Kerr, Terry Cavanagh, Kevin O, Michele Caron, Russell Spencer, Wendy,  Kenny Myers, Archie Wabasca, Emieliene Wabasca, Ralph Wabasca, Will Wabasca, Julia Collins, Daniel Collins, Jackie Collins, Jonathan Badger,  My Baby.

Some died of a life lived well and some didn’t. At the time I didn’t understand why you went away. My heart broke. I was not alone in this. Each one of you left broken hearts. Shattered. I now look back with fondness and so much love that you were in my life for some time. Each one of you had so much purpose for me. Grandparents who raised and loved me and did all they could. Friends who told great stories, made me laugh, fed me and my child, sometimes irked me (I will not lie Russell..hahaha!) some that told me there deepest secrets. There were a few that shared there lives and included me in their own family celebrations, and one that I got a tattoo from. Some that sat with me and gave me great advice and made me laugh and told me that life wasn’t so bad. Some that put there arm around my weary shoulder and told me to keep on keeping on. There were also my two dogs, Brownie & Blackie that I had when I was very small who I have never forgotten and my kitty. Cannot forget them. Never. They gave unconditional love.

Thank you.

Musing Daily

Fly High Like a Eagle!

At the end of 2013 I booked a flight to Vancouver and secured a room not far from the downtown area and also made plans to stay with a friend on the island for a few days. All was set in my mind to do my soul journey, a trip that I could get on that airplane by myself without suffering a dreaded panic attack. I may have spoke of my anxiety in previous posts that I have dealt with since I was a child but it had gotten progressively worse in the tail end of my marriage. That marriage was at a dead stall and we both agreed on an amicable separation and then a divorce. It was then I also went through a life changing event after a trip to a physician and with his help was able to get my good health back and was now on track with my anxiety as well with eating right, sleeping well, exercising and meditating.

It was then after booking this flight my friend offered me a spot to attend an empowerment class, Sierra Bender, Goddess To The Core, a two day deal. I came out of there a brand new person with eyes wide open and ready to take on the world. Sierra Bender as her website states:  “The ‘SBM’ Method  works to break the cycle of stress and disempowerment by synthesizing the disciplines of modern medicine, science, indigenous wisdom, holistic health, exercise physiology, quantum physics, nutrition, yoga therapy and the psychologies of trauma, addiction and sexual abuse. The ‘SBM’ is a method of self-realization, self-empowerment and self love.” If this good lady ever comes to your hometown I totally recommend this 2 day course as it’s the best thing you could do for one’s self, a gift if you will. The Universe sent me this well timed gift perhaps?

January 2014 comes and I am counting down the day until I walk out my front door with my knapsack and my trusty camera and take the bus to the airport. My stomach has butterflies and I am truly excited to be doing this. I get on the airplane and relief washes over me as we fly straight up, the engines roaring and I realize I am crying, not out of fear but joy. True uplifting joy! No sign of panic set in at this moment. The days were a blur as I went driving all over this vibrant city, so huge and so many images to take of the old districts, buildings, the birds, the water. My last day I was walking in Canada Place when a man ran up to me and excitedly told me that there was a eagle perched on a pole way on the other side of the building. What followed was me taking about 300 images of this fine fellow sitting there, staring at times so intently at me. This was the icing on the top of the cake, for sure!eagle 2 (1 of 1)w

Musing Daily

Grippin’ The Wheel Like Grampa!

Steering Wheel We just got back from our brunch, the other half and I and on our way to the library to pick up something for the sitting around reading magazine afternoon portion of our idyllic day. It has been a unusually hard week for this lady as life lessons have been hitting my poor little brain. I have stood my ground however and with Creator by my side know that faithfully all will work out. But sometimes we need to just sit it out, to be left alone with no thoughts what so ever. And having the other half go through a similar circumstances and readily know what it is I rarely talk about we sat in silence until he started imitating a man gripping that steering wheel for all its worth like he was holding on to his lifeline. He was exaggerating the intensity of turning the mechanism and we both burst out laughing, so loudly.

Laughter helps at this time I got to tell you. Give it to me all day long. And add a side of peace and calm with it too, okay? Well my friends, it’s time I get back to National Geographic Traveler and lose myself into some exotic locale and dream of most happier times and know in my heart that there will be more because into each life a little rain must fall.

Family, Intuition, Story Teller

Little Girl, Big Dreams

Old creepy house built in the 30’s, partial dirt basement with an old stone furnace with many pipes, much like an octopus, going every which way to heat the upstairs. Drafts that came from a crawl space in the side of a wall which you could open by taking a 5×5 piece of wood that was attached and held by two wooden fasteners. It was dank and musty and cool when we deigned to play in there or to retrieve the Christmas decorations. One of those octopus arms came in through one wall of the bedroom and into the other wall where the crawl space was. The steps to the upstairs was creaky and narrow and you really had to watch your way or one could trip which as a child I often did.

The one bedroom down there had two double beds, one sitting along side that crawl space wall and the other facing it. As a 9 year old I have to say my imagination some nights went wild with fear. Did I hear something shuffling along the floor? What was that bang, so light? I felt as though eyes were watching me and my skin had eternal goosebumps. My dreams were nightmares some evenings and then others like heaven sent. My mother in her wisdom had a medicine pouch made for me to put around my neck as I slept. It smelled…like..crazy. I suppose she was tired of me running helter skelter up those crickity stairs in the middle of the night to get away from I don’t know what. By the morning it would be on the floor or under my pillow but never around my neck as she had placed it. She took it away from me considering it a lost cause.  By the time I was 16 years old I was tired of this home and went to live with my half brother and his new family, thankfully.

Empathically I was picking up something but having no basis to what was going on in my tired mind, to having no one support me in my child like feelings. Many years now I may having a thought to what it could have been all along. Spirit, perhaps?

Crystal Clear, Intuition, Love, Universe

My Little One

Dear Gail,

I have noticed lately that you have been walking around your own little world with this peculiar smile plastered on your face. Wasn’t it years ago that you were down in the dumps and couldn’t see the future for what it could be. Were you living in the now back then? No, I think not, little one. You may think at times you were a woman of the world but all that worrying and talking out loud mutterings were keeping me up late at night. Yes the Universe needs her beauty sleep too! I am happy to see that you have had a change of heart and attitude and now can you see and feel the flow. I know you do. I wrap you up in peace and blessings and hope you continue your path and see it for all that it is. You were meant for this, you got it! Keep at it and know I am cheering you on from the bleachers!

Signed, The Universe~

Intuition, Story Teller

Was that the wind?

I was always a very independent child, able to look out for herself. I had this sense of responsibility to myself growing up almost with no adult supervision. Don’t get me wrong, mom was kind of there but working and then tired or out for the night with friends. I was often left with babysitter’s, relatives, or my favorite, my grandparents until grandmother passed away. I have memories of me as a small child being pushed through a window as the babysitter had lost the keys and the window suddenly slamming down on my poor baby fingers slicing the tip. My mother coming in a rush after the doctor’s stitched and bandaged me up. Mad, she was.

The babysitters were not very reliable and often mean to a little 4-5 year old. I had one even pull a knife and had me cornered. My heart thumping and thinking my little life was over, very frightened and scared and wanting mom. I got out of that with my humor and likability. Cuteness has its ways. After that I was always trying to be ahead of what the other person might attempt to do with me and I wasn’t about to let that happen. Even at that young age. So I think on this and know that is when the intuition kicked in. When there was that tightness in my tummy, that was my warning signal. I have always had that.

Mom had divorced my real father and re-married shortly after and we then moved into a 1935 bungalow with a half dirt basement with an old stone furnace that made a whoosing sound every time it turned on. I shared a bedroom with my older cousin down there and at times the air space was comfy and at times my spidey senses were on high alert. I would scramble to my mother, practically skinning my knees on the stairs to get to her, to tell her that something was staring at me or I would feel a cool breeze rush by. I was told that I was imagining all this, to stop reading my crazy books about fairies and such and get back to bed. If only I could go back and tell that little girl that it was alright, to tell what ever, spirit wise, that it should go away. This went on for many years and even when my stepfather renovated the basement and made it quite livable there was still a cold spot once in a while, always in the same place. I was never so happy in my life when I moved out on my own never to have to think of ways to avoid the basement. The memory is long and these are important times in my life that make me wonder how as a child that I relied on my own spirit to get me through those days. But it is what it is and I am who I am for it. There are many instances about nightmares, things that go bump in the night and just knowing, but I leave that for another day.6 or 7 year old me~

Letter Writer

Free

For many years I dealt with anxiety and because of this I was unable to take trips to far off places because of the aircraft. Too small, too frightening it was in that space. Panic attacks ensued. Through the years and life changing circumstances I have dealt the anxiety through meditation, proper nutrition and physical exercise. In December 2013 I attended a “Sierra Bender’s Workout to the Core” workshop and did that ever help boost my confidence. Through yoga I was finally able to purge and let go and the finale was the board breaking ceremony which I accomplished. For my test I booked a single flight ticket to Vancouver, B.C. for a week long visit to bounce around this beautiful city and take oodles of images.I was wondering as I sat in my seat before take off what was about to happen but I sat back, closed my eyes, took a deep breathe and let everything go. Said a prayer and then we were in the air. I was EXHILARATED!! I started to cry from the happiness of it all. I have to say that that week went by so quickly and I was looking forward to the trip back home. Super excited actually.flightSo now the other half and I are on our way to the east coast coming up soon and this involves a flight to Dallas with a stopover and then on to Miami. So looking forward to our adventure and so looking forward to the plane ride!!