Author, Home Sweet Home, Musing Daily

Day 2~ Daily I Think

Day 2~ 8:00 am has me musing this early morning about what I will do for this day. A self reiki session is in order as it supports well being and the immune system with what I call energy vitamins. And speaking of energy vitamins a dose of Vitamin D and visit Mr. Sun sometime today with a walk in my community. Laying down to sleep last night had this gal praying and expressing gratitude of having all my needs taken care of with another prayer for this morning. Energy vitamins. Good for the soul.

A bowl of porridge with a side of real time vitamins, a good hot cup of coffee. My exercise program has been done and same with my toiletries. Check, check and check! ✔️ This is my routine and nothing has changed for me with the self isolation. Same thing, different day, a much different day.

10:16 am: Taking a break from an NLP online course. Doing this in small increments. My mind is already thinking of supper, can you believe that? Seriously it will be prep work for now and divide the meat after it is cooked into other meals which I can either add rice or vegetables to them. Oh and lo and behold the temperature is in the plus celsius so going to get dressed for the weather and a have a walkabout in my neighbor after the prep.

11:23 am: Back at the course. Productivity. That has always been my sense of purpose for as far as I remember. It’s the staying on course, focused that sometimes has me off kilter. It is for me, “Oh look, squirrel” Hahaha. But I persevere.

1:45 pm: Got the ground beef done and created 4 dinners out of it. Gave the course a rest and may pick it up sometime tonight. Did a little house cleaning and washed some bedding. All in all a most productive day for this gal. Last week I thought of doing a 3 card reading for The World and so I just finished posting that on my facebook page. I wasn’t surprised when I turned the cards over but all in all very positive in the way you look at it.

3:28 pm: So this is just a short snapshot of my life as it is. A good day to wake up with a clear head and a grateful heart. Many projects to be done but no time limit and no hurry on that score. My intentions are good for all and I spread those seeds where I can. So until tomorrow my friends.

Author, Family, Heaven, Letters to Heaven, Love, Loved Ones, Medium, Psychic

Sorry

It was that word I was not to understand when I had my own mediumship reading given to me by a mentor. She was bringing in my father and the one word that stuck out was, “Sorry” It took me days to get my “AHA” moment as it is when you go to a session. This word was given to me a few years ago. It was today that I had a heart to heart talk or the start of one with Dad. If you know my story, then you know he passed away in 1986. I asked him why he would leave me when I needed him the most. I remember those phone calls begging him to take me to his house hundreds of miles of away. I begged him.

My family life was shaky at the best of times and I am being nice for there sake. What was it that my own blood took her anger out on me. I will never know. But I found my dad’s number and phoned him, crying to him, to help me. It was not to be. The only times I was allowed to see him were a couple of weeks in the summer time as I was needed at home to babysit my step brothers and sister. If he came to town which was rare I would sit in his hotel room with him. One of those moments stands out as he was staying at the Cecil Hotel. He shows me his bullet wounds. The old scars on his body. He shows me his medals he received. He tells me that when he dies that I will receive those medals.

When he did pass away and I made my way up north, I talked to his sister Margaret and told her as I looked down on dad in his casket dressed in his uniform and wearing the medals that they were promised to me. It was to be presented to me when they buried him in the cold ground that wintry day. The priest put them in my hand. I felt utterly alone.

But the years pass and all I knew of what I felt of my father was the deep love for him, his essence. The word sorry came to me that day in that reading when I realized what he was saying that for. I told myself at that time it was not needed. But indeed it was. So to get back to that conversation with dad. The deep realization that he knew now what has transpired but had deep sorrow for that. “Where were you when I needed you. Where? Did you not believe me when I told you my stories? Did you not know I was the truth teller?”

Well dad the time has come to now truly forgive you. To let go. This has all come to pass and for all those experiences my body, mind and spirit took I am the better person for it. I only wish you were here physically by my side. You would be 93 though. And I am glad to have heard that word. It means so much to me now.

Much love and huge hugs and lots of kisses to you Dad!

Adventures, Author, Creative, Family, Gift, Guardian Angel, Heaven, Higher Self

It Just Got Better!

Who knew that my life would amplify? Well it has. Since I have embraced my purpose and put all the love behind it my life has changed exponentially!! I am finally on my path but it did take all those experiences good and bad to get me where I am and to help the people that sit before me in sessions. There are many stories to tell and they truly stand out. Five o’clock wake up time by Spirit as she tells me, “I was invited!” This was the day of a psychic party and as I entered the hostesses kitchen with people sitting around the table remarked about this 5 o’clock wake up call. I carefully described the lady in question to all and then I had a person laugh out loud and say to all, “That’s my Mom!”

Spirit comes in tippy toes or as loud as they were when they were alive. They show me vignettes of their lives, here and there, past and present. Strong attributes come through or memories made to mention. The healing messages do follow, some small and some long as I dictate or scribble down so fast. They also have there own messages to deliver as I have had people present there questions and they come up with something entirely different or they just answer. I never know what it is that I will channel through a session.

So let’s go back to how afraid I was of what I had when I was younger. I overcame that fear and got to where I am now. The anxiety that came as a side has lessened and I express gratitude to all the people that guided me, the workshops and especially my dear auntie. She has brought my family love to me and made me grow like you don’t know!

Author

It Is What It Is & I Am Who I Am

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My early childhood was lived in fearful states of anxiety. When is dad or mom coming home? Why are they leaving? The child sits and waits. Tell me now and I understand that dad is in the army many miles away. Mom has taken a job in the city, housecleaning. It is better for me to be with my loving grandparents. That security is soon taken out from under me. My grandmother Julia dies two days after my third birthday of heart problems. My grandfather overtaken by immense grief and no where near to taking care of a small child, let alone a girl. It was at this time that I was sexually abused by someone near to the family. I was five or perhaps 4. This state of mind terrifies me and more so to be threatened with more abuse if I tell. There is no control in my mind to understand this too. To be in the now and to work it out and move on. How does one move on after being subjected to this…at 5.

At 5 we get to play, to run free, to dream, to wish. This was taken from me. Fear replaced all this. At times my stasis would be of comfort when I was in the responsible hands of my dear aunties. They always had my back, in my mind. As I grew and was old enough for grade school it was decided that I would come to the city to live with my mom. Things changed for me. Now I was in the hands of babysitters as my mother went about her day to make a living. The caretakers were young, some old, girls, boys, women, it was always different people. They came in forms of kindness, playfulness, indifferent attitude. One in particular was a 12 year old girl who took a knife to me and backed me up in a corner. The threat had come back. Another was the night my mother stepped out to have a drink with the girls and left me in the hands of a boy. A boy who decide that I should go to bed. A boy who decided to sexually play with me.

Those times do not affect my now. But they did build up my resiliency. My will to live above all this pain. As I have stated before in this story of mine that as children we have the people in charge of our little souls to make sure we are safe and secure. When left to our devices, where do we turn? How does one deal with it? Where do we run when no one believes in us? When we are called liar again and again. We turn inward and then that manifests into something greater then we can deal with. My teenage years I rebelled and ran away. This is number one of the manifestations. She runs. I drank and pushed those memories down. When I got older and was in a relationship that did not suit me, I broke it off as I felt in control. But essentially, was not.

May I say that this has a happy ending. True my life is no where near that end but even I do not know this. My time could come tomorrow, mayhaps this afternoon but I hope not. My life purpose is now true to me and I look forward with zeal and adventure in my heart. There is so much out there for me after all this little girl healing into a grown woman. A woman who knows that she is finally secure, loved, who stands on her own two feet, resilient (love that word) courageous,strong willed and has faith. Life has made me who I am and so proud of it!

Author

Vanity Fair’s New Cover Story: Caitlyn Jenner

This past spring I was at an all woman event and was introduced to “Tiffany.” She reminded me of someone but couldn’t place her face. We made small talk and then the light bulb came on. It was my friend, “Tom.” Tiffany had stated how freeing it was to walk around and to let people know who she was. As a photographer I got some really great shots from her. She was a natural if I may say so. Our conversation came about my awakening as a comparison to her’s. I look forward to seeing my friend in the future and see what kind of outfits she comes up with. Oh and I love our girl talk!!

Longreads

“As soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out, I’m free.”

Vanity Fair has just released its cover image of Caitlyn Jenner—photographed by Annie Leibovitz, with a story by Buzz Bissinger.

The story is not yet available online, but Jenner tells Bissinger: “If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life.’ ”

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