For many years I dealt with anxiety and because of this I was unable to take trips to far off places because of the aircraft. Too small, too frightening it was in that space. Panic attacks ensued. Through the years and life changing circumstances I have dealt the anxiety through meditation, proper nutrition and physical exercise. In December 2013 I attended a “Sierra Bender’s Workout to the Core” workshop and did that ever help boost my confidence. Through yoga I was finally able to purge and let go and the finale was the board breaking ceremony which I accomplished. For my test I booked a single flight ticket to Vancouver, B.C. for a week long visit to bounce around this beautiful city and take oodles of images.I was wondering as I sat in my seat before take off what was about to happen but I sat back, closed my eyes, took a deep breathe and let everything go. Said a prayer and then we were in the air. I was EXHILARATED!! I started to cry from the happiness of it all. I have to say that that week went by so quickly and I was looking forward to the trip back home. Super excited actually.So now the other half and I are on our way to the east coast coming up soon and this involves a flight to Dallas with a stopover and then on to Miami. So looking forward to our adventure and so looking forward to the plane ride!!
And so I seem as though I am living another life. I have always been the girl who went to church, dutifully. I never seemed the get why I was in church. I would gaze at all the statues, the stained glass, the ceremony and yet I was waiting for someone to blast through those doors and say, “Here I am!” As my younger adult years went on I sadly gave up going as in my mind that I had been made to. This was my belief.
In 2009 I went through a life changing treatment with the usual effects of hair and weight loss but came through that with all the bells and whistles months later. My spiritual awakening came in the middle of that treatment. It had already been months into it and one day I dragged myself to the kitchen so thirsty, so hungry but yet very weak. I fell to the kitchen floor and started to cry. It was all I could do but in the middle of my feeling sorry for my self I decided to ask Him for help. So I prayed for Strength and then I thought a little more and since I was still down there on the floor I asked for Joy. I felt this surge go through the tips of my toes to my head and as I picked myself up by the stove I started to laugh. Everyday I wake up either laughing at something that I have done or I remember something funny. Not a day goes by that I say how grateful I am.
We have a church in the downtown area where I started to attend services. I have to tell you my experience is totally different and now I understand it. I also know that He is always with me and walks with me and so I am not beholden to this building although I do attend when the feeling hits me. It’s like visiting with good people and that my friends is pretty cool!
Now that my intuition has opened up more I know that having spirituality is a big plus. They go hand in hand. The gift is all in us but I figure it all up to us to use it. That is my belief. This past year has been a sense of wonder and of knowing and also having mentor help me to develop this. I meditate on a daily basis whether it be guided or just walking outside or even in the moment of taking my pictures. The meditation has definitely helped to calm me but also to take away those awful migraines I had. I find that I can be present. I get that when I worry about something that happened yesterday or could happen in the future I lose out. What happened, has happened and no sense in rehashing it. It serves no purpose.
One early morning my other half & I had left our morning breakfast spot and had just received some not too great news & were trying to digest this. One of his family members was having life trouble and it was a quiet & very somber drive home. We both looked up and seen this image in the clouds and he quickly told me to snap a photo. My other half is a very reality driven person, he see’s black & white so I was surprised by his reaction. We both agreed there was a face in the cloud who resembled his father looking none to pleased. His father had passed from cancer 3 years previous. “Perhaps” I said, “He is here to support you concerning your daughter, but he doesn’t look to happy about it either” The other half also asked me to send it to his sister to get her reaction who also agreed that it looked like there dad.
The other half doesn’t say much to about stuff like this but accepts with what he can see. His sister on the other hand is like me and it gives her solace and faith and that my friends is a good thing.