And so I seem as though I am living another life. I have always been the girl who went to church, dutifully. I never seemed the get why I was in church. I would gaze at all the statues, the stained glass, the ceremony and yet I was waiting for someone to blast through those doors and say, “Here I am!” As my younger adult years went on I sadly gave up going as in my mind that I had been made to. This was my belief.
In 2009 I went through a life changing treatment with the usual effects of hair and weight loss but came through that with all the bells and whistles months later. My spiritual awakening came in the middle of that treatment. It had already been months into it and one day I dragged myself to the kitchen so thirsty, so hungry but yet very weak. I fell to the kitchen floor and started to cry. It was all I could do but in the middle of my feeling sorry for my self I decided to ask Him for help. So I prayed for Strength and then I thought a little more and since I was still down there on the floor I asked for Joy. I felt this surge go through the tips of my toes to my head and as I picked myself up by the stove I started to laugh. Everyday I wake up either laughing at something that I have done or I remember something funny. Not a day goes by that I say how grateful I am.
We have a church in the downtown area where I started to attend services. I have to tell you my experience is totally different and now I understand it. I also know that He is always with me and walks with me and so I am not beholden to this building although I do attend when the feeling hits me. It’s like visiting with good people and that my friends is pretty cool!
Now that my intuition has opened up more I know that having spirituality is a big plus. They go hand in hand. The gift is all in us but I figure it all up to us to use it. That is my belief. This past year has been a sense of wonder and of knowing and also having mentor help me to develop this. I meditate on a daily basis whether it be guided or just walking outside or even in the moment of taking my pictures. The meditation has definitely helped to calm me but also to take away those awful migraines I had. I find that I can be present. I get that when I worry about something that happened yesterday or could happen in the future I lose out. What happened, has happened and no sense in rehashing it. It serves no purpose.
And so I continue on in my truly wonderful journey and I have no expectations and take it as it comes and be grateful~