Adventures, Family, Gift, Guardian Angel, Higher Self, Intuition, Loved Ones, Medium, Slightly Burnt

Guide Me

There have been times in my life where I knew not where I was going. One minute I found myself wondering how I came to be here on earth. And I asked myself why? Happy times spent as a family unit and then thrust into isolation without mother and father. Is isolation time spent with aunts and uncles? With grandparents? You know what I talk about when I say the love is different. They care about you but not on that level as you do when you love the smell of your dad and his smiles and silly talk. I knew my family cared about me but I felt so lonely growing up. That small girl who no one explained to, “Hey, we got to take care of business so we can live, you know! But we’ll be back for sure!” This was also the time of my first sexual assault as a very young child with no one to run to.

My first guide in my life besides my father was my maternal grandmother, Julia. I loved her with all my being. Totally. She died 3 days after my third birthday. One minute she was there, the next gone. It ripped me. My grandfather was desolate. He was to go shortly after, a few years but still. It has been said that the ages between 0-3 are the years that a child is nurtured and learns security, love, comfort, confidence and making choices. Thank goodness for grandma. Where would I be without her.

The years pass by me and it’s all learning as this girl doesn’t listen. Too much control going on with parental units in the way of my mother and my stepfather. Maybe I did listen to them when I was young but I grew headstrong and did what I wanted. After all did I not have the freedom to do that when I was with my aunts and uncles and roaming the countryside. I had so much trouble happening in my head and not having direction was to run away time and time again. I left home at 16 as I had a job and lived with my brother for a time. I became pregnant at 17 and left school. My one saving grace, school. I blossomed there. I excelled under the guidance of my psychology teacher, Mr. Bianchini and the art teacher, Mr. Zipp. I understood the mechanics of the mind and gained high marks for that. Mr. Zipp seen a spark in me and I was to become the class model for those years in that big old high school. Mr. Bianchini asked me why I wasn’t returning to his class the last year and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there and now that I was pregnant. I wasn’t brave enough. Would my life been different then the path I decided to take and follow my choices. I do not know. I had the child but did not attain the mother of year award. My parents stepped in and took him. After a time they adopted him. My heart broke. It broke into a million pieces. It sounds cliche. I was to have no contact with him. None. This is the way they wanted it.

I became homeless. Depressed. I discovered there was another side to life that knowing now would never, ever enter. Ever. I stole to eat. Raiding gardens, going into stores and stuffing a bag with whatever I could get. That time was not a good time but I was not to stay in that space for long. Entering into relationships hoping for security and receiving nothing gave me disappointment. Finding a house to live in with five other young people my age was to present huge parties. Not a stable life. But it was so much fun back then. And then it wasn’t. There were problems and once again I was homeless. I persevered. I moved for a time with my friends and found a job. Good old 7-11.

Time passes and in that air I have two more children and one to give up for adoption as this was the time I was living on the streets, sleeping on friends couches. Aimless. The third child I took courage and wanted more out of life. My father was still alive and came to see us in the hospital. I so loved this memory. My father was to pass on my son’s 3rd birthday year. Abusive relationship were to follow for me. My self esteem in shatters. There had been no time to grieve any thing that had passed. No time to grieve the son that was taken, the daughter I gave up for adoption and then my father. No. Time. To. Grieve. But I did find the courage and strength to overcome that man. That man that yelled and hurled abuse on me. I was to find a letter the other day of him writing from jail. How he was so sorry for hitting me. I have no memory of that. Absolutely no memory. He was very graphic and gave so many details but nothing sparked in my memory banks. Now is that a saving grace. I say yes to that. I had to find this guidance on my own and crawl out of that hole.

Life does indeed go on and sometimes at a snail’s pace and sometimes in light streaming down the road. I have had trauma, but also joy mixed in with mine. It has not all been bad. There was the joy of having my children. The happiness of my heart seeing my 3rd child grow. It has all been an experience and for this life class I have been in to be used for people that are going through the same thing. It amazes me with the gift that I had had and how it came in handy for me through the younger days. It got me through so many good times too. I just didn’t know what it was.

I sit here in the morning sun and thank god for all that have some into my life to make in into what it is today. All those experiences that have made me a strong, confident, empowered woman. The guides now are spiritual and some earth based as in my friends or my tribe as I like to call them. They are all my touch stone. They ground me. I know that I am in safe hands. I know there is more for me out there and I can hardly wait!!

Adventures, Author, Creative, Family, Gift, Guardian Angel, Heaven, Higher Self

It Just Got Better!

Who knew that my life would amplify? Well it has. Since I have embraced my purpose and put all the love behind it my life has changed exponentially!! I am finally on my path but it did take all those experiences good and bad to get me where I am and to help the people that sit before me in sessions. There are many stories to tell and they truly stand out. Five o’clock wake up time by Spirit as she tells me, “I was invited!” This was the day of a psychic party and as I entered the hostesses kitchen with people sitting around the table remarked about this 5 o’clock wake up call. I carefully described the lady in question to all and then I had a person laugh out loud and say to all, “That’s my Mom!”

Spirit comes in tippy toes or as loud as they were when they were alive. They show me vignettes of their lives, here and there, past and present. Strong attributes come through or memories made to mention. The healing messages do follow, some small and some long as I dictate or scribble down so fast. They also have there own messages to deliver as I have had people present there questions and they come up with something entirely different or they just answer. I never know what it is that I will channel through a session.

So let’s go back to how afraid I was of what I had when I was younger. I overcame that fear and got to where I am now. The anxiety that came as a side has lessened and I express gratitude to all the people that guided me, the workshops and especially my dear auntie. She has brought my family love to me and made me grow like you don’t know!

Gift, Guardian Angel, Intuition, Love, Medium, Psychic

Who Knew..

Who knew that when I let go all would work out to be the way it is. Let it Be. I look back on the fear that permeated my being by saying no to encouraging my growth. Being stuck in Anxietyville was the only thing I knew and believe it or not felt safe. To go beyond meant facing something that I could not endure in that space and time. I look now on the peace and freedom my life brings me and I shake my head at those fear based thoughts. Look at me all tied in knots, afraid of her own shadow and bites the hearts of those that would reach out with her harsh words to keep them at bay. Yes, I was that person. “Give me my space!” I demanded. Did anyone have a clue what I was going through. Man, I was a mess. Hahahaha. If I could I would go up to the former Gail and say, “Hey slow down, give yourself a break, do not give into the demands of life and go easy on yourself. Know that the Universe has your back.”

Five years ago or maybe more I was encouraged to attend class for psychic development. Omg, my mind went south to heck in a hand basket. Ego decided to hitch a ride and give it to me full blast. “You do not have what it takes, you will fail. It will be too much work. You are not intuitive, quit kidding yourself.” Yes, this was my cheerleading section in my mind. Ego was having a party and I was the only attendee. Slowly I came around with baby steps and being in a relationship at that time had a bit of encouragement to try it out. More and more I came out of my shell. Made new friends, trusted them with my heart and talked of things that interested me and they knew what I was going through. This was my tribe. I had finally found them.  This tribe consisted of women that had similar stories to mine. They had seen stuff happen around them that no other could see. They day dreamed a lot. Too much so that they were accused of living in another world. To be accused of being a liar crushes a young person’s spirit and deny’s them there truth. Know this.

Today you will see a vibrant, empowered, say it like it is, take charge of my own life kind of woman. Meditation is what centered me. Starting that off was such an endurance test but I passed it. Having made attempts to try it but not finishing a session only made me want to overcome it. Instead of pushing myself to sit in silence for 15 minutes I then went on Youtube and found a great guided meditation by Naomi Nonu-Carling called “Angel Contact” and started off with a minute. I came out of that psyched and ready to move on to add more minutes. So in one day I meditated for a whole hour, again starting off with that one golden minute. Today when I have a session with a client I actually bring them into meditation for a minute or three to show them how easy it is, starting with breathe. Telling them to push out those thoughts with your breathe. Steady one’s mind. Surprised looks are the norm when they come out and how it took for minutes to go by.

If I can do anything to help a person go beyond where they are now and if this is through a reading then I have fulfilled my purpose.

Gift, Guardian Angel, Heaven

Gift from Spirit

Love my dreams that come through. They are usually a black and white highlight of days events that had past or vibrant and lucid themes that drift in and out of me as I walk, fly, run, swim, whatever activity is needed in each scene. Mornings bring a smile to this gal’s face and the gift to remember. Such was last night or early morning with a busy walk through a army barracks and then holding unto a necklace with the word DREAM with four jewels attached to it. Messages like these I love. Messages from spirit that I embrace.

It was at Christmas time a few months ago that a colorful dream came through me with gorgeous hues of rainbows dotting the sky and the huge letters of BELIEVE tossed in with the fluffy clouds. I awoke knowing full well that I did in fact believe in myself that I had the knowingness to do what I had to do with my mediumship readings. With that belief I have come leaps and bounds. This dream of this morning is just the icing on the top to manifest my hearts desire for sure. To be able to read for more clients with healing messages, to take my photography to a different level. Stayed tuned for that one. To have a new love. I am not asking for much but something that I truly deserve. Looking forward to the future. Enjoy your day my friends!

Guardian Angel, Love

What I did on my summer vacation…

I dreamt last night of a couple crossing the street. Me in my vehicle, waiting for them to progress but it was not to be as the woman fell down with the man helping her. I got out and proceeded to pick them up. The man wanted no help from me. He was disoriented. He was wearing military uniform with all the usual array of medals and such with the number 324 prominently showing. “Let me help you, you need help.” I said to him. No was his reply. “My father died of a stroke and I think that is what is happening to you.” I say to him. “Exactly!” is what he said as he stood up proudly. I was shaken momentarily and walked away. It was a very vivid dream with me carrying a red wallet and the song, “Wayward Son” with these lyrics playing all the while…”Carry on my wayward son, For there’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest Now don’t you cry no more.”

Waking up this morning I check the numbers and sure enough 324 has meaning. “You stand shoulder to shoulder with benevolent guardian angels, archangels, and ascended mas­ters. Surrounded by such powerful Divine love, you can feel certain of a positive outcome to this situation.” Red as I checked out with this as follows does resonate with me. “The alchemists had a much more narrow interpretation of the color red. For them, red was fire. But in alchemy, fire was more than simply heat. Fire was the force of creativity, the force what allowed radical transformation in the fulminato stage — the stage that directly preceded the accomplishment of the “Great Work. In dreams, red may be similarly interpreted meaning that the dreamer is engaged not only in a time of deep creative passion, but creativity that radically transforms one from the soul up and down and in and out.”

So this past summer it has been the ending of a relationship but with that a greater understanding of who I truly am and what I made out of. We seem to think that this is how it should be when life all of a sudden throws a curve ball and says no such luck girlie!  That happened but now I stand resolute and sure of myself. At this time meditation helps soothe the soul as does knowing that there are people to support me as well as on the other side with healing. Not a day goes by that I do know that my father is around me and shows me with his symbol, the number 3. The peacefulness of the days carries this one down her path. I know there are greater things that await and I look forward to this adventure we call life. This was my gift from the universe and such a great learning experience to take away from it all.

Guardian Angel, Loved Ones

Is You There?

I am in a snow covered dream. I love snow by the way. Sauntering down a sidewalk I spy my dad clearing snow off a red car. My first thought is that he is alive. He looks so vibrant and happy. Noticing that now he is looking up to a third floor apartment as now he is shoveling snow into the convertible. My dad had a good sense of humor as I am told and this to notice him more in this dream. Gazing up I see no one there only the lace curtains move slightly. Dad is still shoveling. Looking up again I see Dad’s partner Bernice walk away from the window. This is when I suddenly realize that my Father is dead and in a little girl voice I say, “I miss you Daddy!” I awake suddenly and still hear my young voice. This dream makes me happy and I know I will have a good day. My visitations from good old Dad are rare but I remember each and everyone of them. Knowing that he guides me during my waking hours comforts me. The red is always prominent in my dreams with him. It was pointed out by my friend that in my new home there is a lot of red popping out from paintings, textiles and such. I hadn’t realized until then.

This early morning I was to awake from a entirely different dream. A man walks with me on a cruise ship. He is dressed in army attire. This catches my attention as my dad was in the army as you all know. There is a trusting moment but only too briefly as he shows his true colors. I want to run away from him now and am saved by a woman who intervenes by talking to him. I then make my get away.

In this scenario I know that I should be protecting myself a lot more than I choose to. Grounding and bathing ones self in white light as I do in good intention certainly goes a long way. Always I express gratitude before I close my eyes and ask from protection from Archangel Michael at sleep time. I do. When we, as lightworker’s open ourselves to spirit the occasional rift raff do drop in but only momentarily. But I rather opt for nothing at all if that can be helped. I do not care for these visits from them. On the other hand my dreams from loved ones that have passed I would welcome every night if that was so possible!

 

Guardian Angel

You Will!

As strange as this might sound to you dear reader the following came to me a few moments ago. A must share for definitely I am guided by unseen forces. Spiritual ones that is. “You will flourish.” It came in silently in my mind. I never question these insights for they come out of the blue.

If you have been following my journey of this year you will know that I have moved to a much improved situation. I wake to birds in the many trees surrounding my condo with there song. Add to this is a quietness which is a tonic. My mind has settled and thus my body follows. Peace & tranquility. I am the Queen of Serene! So I thank my guides for giving me this beautiful message and wonder what tomorrow will bring.