Family, Heaven

My Sister

May I say she was a slip of a child, well I will because she was. She was funny, she was everything to me, she was my confidente, the one person who I totally trusted with my little girl secrets, my fears. The family dynamics in my early life were not the Dick & Jane of long ago although I wonder what that would have been like. I lived in the country with my grandparents as my father was in the army and gone much of the time. My mother worked in the city and when dad came back home, they would meet up and then come pick me up. Those times were so precious as I was so excited to see them both. There were a few of us like this, my cousins and I who went to stay with other aunts and uncles when my grandmother passed away when I was three. Call me confused too because I thought she was my mom and my cousins my brother’s and sister’s. Funny!

Let’s get back to my cousin who I called a sister, Julia was her name and we were always together, thick and thin. Her mother Flora was to pass away in the middle 60’s leaving little Julia with no mother, no father but she had us, she had me. In all this my mother had divorced my father and remarried  and we lived that life I was yearning for, the stability everyone needs to grow emotionally. My stepfather and mother decided to take in Julia to come live with us forever and I was so freaken excited that I cajoled them into picking her up and soon. My auntie had her and they were in a far off town, trying to make money to feed her family so we would have to wait until they came back. My mother received a phone call one night. Julia had passed away. She had contracted pneumonia after spending some time out in the cold.

You know that feeling when someone so close leaves you, when they pass away. It tears a part of your heart out. You try to make deals with God to bring them back, crying all the while, so desperate. And so the years went on and the feeling was always there and I would think of her time to time. I still do. Time passes and the hurt diminishes and now I think of the fun stuff we use to do. She always has my heart…always.

gail444
Gail, Julia and Mary in the background.

I have always had many people who I met that had gifts that would pass on to me that they would see a little girl with me, with short hair and a cowlick, much like Julia, wearing a long dress much to big for her. My theory about the dress was the one she wore in when she was buried, that can only be. So many to tell me that she is always there. I have to think that this why I have childlike qualities and this is due to her. To add to this my father who passed in 1986 is seen with me wearing a army uniform and my grandmother Julia wearing a long dress and her scarf around her head as well. All three travelling with me and me without a clue until my early 30’s. Boggles the mind now, doesn’t it. Believe that Spirit is always with you, giving you signs and they all have there own, you just have to ask.

Family, Intuition, Story Teller

Little Girl, Big Dreams

Old creepy house built in the 30’s, partial dirt basement with an old stone furnace with many pipes, much like an octopus, going every which way to heat the upstairs. Drafts that came from a crawl space in the side of a wall which you could open by taking a 5×5 piece of wood that was attached and held by two wooden fasteners. It was dank and musty and cool when we deigned to play in there or to retrieve the Christmas decorations. One of those octopus arms came in through one wall of the bedroom and into the other wall where the crawl space was. The steps to the upstairs was creaky and narrow and you really had to watch your way or one could trip which as a child I often did.

The one bedroom down there had two double beds, one sitting along side that crawl space wall and the other facing it. As a 9 year old I have to say my imagination some nights went wild with fear. Did I hear something shuffling along the floor? What was that bang, so light? I felt as though eyes were watching me and my skin had eternal goosebumps. My dreams were nightmares some evenings and then others like heaven sent. My mother in her wisdom had a medicine pouch made for me to put around my neck as I slept. It smelled…like..crazy. I suppose she was tired of me running helter skelter up those crickity stairs in the middle of the night to get away from I don’t know what. By the morning it would be on the floor or under my pillow but never around my neck as she had placed it. She took it away from me considering it a lost cause.  By the time I was 16 years old I was tired of this home and went to live with my half brother and his new family, thankfully.

Empathically I was picking up something but having no basis to what was going on in my tired mind, to having no one support me in my child like feelings. Many years now I may having a thought to what it could have been all along. Spirit, perhaps?

Family, Intuition, Love

Spiritual Share

This morning I was thoroughly vexed. Really. So I sat in my car and asked for help and sent a prayer to Creator, the Universe, my Spirit Guide & my Angels. I was pulling all the stops on this one. About an hour later the song, “Everything’s Alright” from Jesus Christ Superstar went running through my mind. “..Try not to get worried, try not to get turned onto problems that upset you..” Message came in and out that fast.I had a giggle and thanked them for listening and know that it will truly work out. I love my life.~

I am clairaudient; clear hearing, clairvoyant; clear seeing, claircognizance; clear knowing, clairsentience; clear feeling and with all this, it has been a truly wonderful ride. Thank Creator every morning for my gifts, for this abundance, this knowledge but have to state that I am in the learning stages. Patience is my ally and to know that with every lesson, every experience there is more to be absorbed in my brain. Thank goodness I have mentors but my strongest supporter would be my Auntie who always tells me, “You have always had this, this gift, it has always been inside you.” Her vision of me as she read for me yesterday was of my being on top of a mountain talking to Creator..praying. I told her that I do that in the morning, during the day, in the evening, praying and that I ask. Got to love that!

Oh and that problem I had worked itself out and very easy I might add.feather (1 of 1)

Family, Story Teller

5 Days In July

This morning I had the urge, huge urge to get in my car, travel to a pilgrimage an hour away from my city, a nice drive out in the country to the lake. And when I parked the car I heard my name called a few times, “Gail! Gail!!” trying to get my attention. My mother, bless her heart was in a vehicle with two of my aunts parked a few cars down. I knew that this was providence and going to be a fun day even though the services would be solemn but joyous. Love the singing part myself!

Lac Ste. Anne is a site for the annual pilgrimage, a spiritual gathering with many hundreds in attendance. Here follows what Parks Canada explains in more detail than I could.

“Lac Ste. Anne Pilgrimage is a site of national historic significance because as early as 1889, Aboriginal people, including Cree, Dene, Blackfoot and Métis, have been coming to Lac Ste. Anne to celebrate the Feast of Saint Anne. Saint Anne embodies, for many Aboriginal peoples, the traditional importance of the grandmother figure. For the Aboriginal people of Western and Northwestern Canada, the pilgrimage site is an important place of social, cultural and spiritual rejuvenation, which are important aspects of the traditional summer gathering.”

An outdoor church, a huge building that seated hundreds under that wooden roof with many benches was the first time for me to experience this since I was a child. The service took no time at all and after I walked towards the lake as it is known for its healing waters. In ankle deep water and watching others going way deeper, I said my prayer, the whole reason I came.

People come from near and far for this event and my mom introduced me to long lost relatives from my father’s side of the family. My Aunt Violet, seeing me for the first time since I was a baby couldn’t get over the family resemblance and frankly neither could I. Her son Dennis and his son, Raymond and I made an instant connection, just like we knew each other for the longest time. No sooner had I met them there were more cousins that came over to say hello.  That was pretty darn cool to meet this friendly bunch, getting to know each other and then hugging each other goodbye. I sure hope to see them again!

There were many vendors and I was walking along and spied my Aunt Bertha who I met a couple of years ago. My dad and her were inseparable and when he would come into the city he would stay with her. She was telling me stories today about him, how impeccable he was. Always cleaning and keeping everything neat and tidy including her children. I started to tear up as I really never knew what made this man tick. But it also made me laugh because I picked up on his ways. For me everything has to be perfect.

So there you have it. That huge urge to make this trip and not only to see what this pilgrimage was about with my adult eyes but also to walk into wonder and connection for my emotional being. Dad, I know you are watching me from where ever you are and I thank you for making my day!

Aunt Bertha

Family

A Single Dad Takes a Fatherhood Development Class

I read it, I loved it. I await to find out how his life turns out. Truly this young man has good intentions and yet I can see myself in him as I was a single parent growing up in the 70’s with a baby I wasn’t ready for. Lucky for me that my mother and stepfather adopted my son. I just wonder if it will get better for Paul and his baby girl. He certainly is trying and that is all you can hope for.

Longreads

The last student to arrive for fatherhood class was the only one holding a baby, and a dozen men looked up from their desks to stare. Paul Gayle, 19, had a pink diaper bag hanging off a shoulder decorated with tattoos of marijuana leaves, and a crying 7-month-old in his arms. “Come on, girl, chill out,” Paul said, carrying the baby to a seat in the corner. He offered her a rattle, and she swatted it away. He gave her a bottle, and she only cried louder. Finally, he reached into the diaper bag and took out a pacifier for her and a shot of Goody’s Headache Relief for himself.

“Sorry for the noise, y’all,” he said. “We’re both a little mad at the world today.”

“No problem,” the teacher said. “I’m up here talking about being a dad, and you’re doing it.”

“I’m trying,” Paul said. “But damn.”

—…

View original post 57 more words